The Discomfort of Growth (and Why It’s Worth It)

“If you aren’t out of your comfort zone, you aren’t growing.” -Joel & Antonia, Personality Hacker

2019: The Year of Understanding Continues…

If you’ve been following along with me this year, you know this much so far is true:

  1. We’re on a journey toward the center of ourselves. We’re on this journey because we’re not a bunch of children playing on teeter totters. We’re badass mountain climbers. (What am I talking about?? Get yourself caught up here!)
  1. We’re collecting tools – perhaps the most important tool being THE MAP. Did you get your personalized map yet? If not, be sure to set up your Personality Discovery & Coaching Session. People are doing it; people are liking it. You, too, could do this and like it. More details on that HERE! 

Since the last newsletter contained an all-important reference to “TOOL #1” (the map!), this week I was like – shoot – I kind of set myself up for coming up with a #2, didn’t I??

Considering how much I love to plan things, you might have thought I had a whole master plan about how every newsletter this year would contain the next all-important tool and it would weave seamlessly together throughout the year leading you on a magical journey to wholeness.

That is such a great idea. And totally nothing that I’ve planned out.

You see, my newsletter writing process goes something more like this: I scrall “WRITE NEWSLETTER” on my calendar twice a month.

And then I breathe a big sigh of relief on the weeks when I don’t have to do it, and I dread it just ever so slightly on the weeks when I do because it’s a huge task and the FIRST step in anything is always the hardest for me because – well to get technical for a moment here – I’m an INFJ in the Myer’s Briggs system and my primary mental process (“introverted intuition”) is a learning process that can see a million ways to go about anything.

So you can see that even if I convince myself that yes, I must eat this elephant one bite at a time – well, it can take me a very long time to decide which bite to take first and how.

So then I procrastinate for a couple hours – and I get QUITE a bit accomplished that has nothing to do with writing a newsletter.

Do not discount everything you can get accomplished when you’re putting off doing something else. Didn’t Garfield say that once?

Then I wrap up the five texting conversations I’ve “accidentally” gotten myself deeply involved with, make a cup of tea, grab my laptop, and sit down for a marathon session of writing and creating and tweaking.

Sure, I could come up with some reason not to do this anymore – but I would know that it was all just a ruse to keep myself in a zone of comfortable.

And as much as I would love to stay in my own little world of learning, thinking, learning, and perpetual intake and never really having to put anything “out there” – no one ever grew by staying comfortable.

And yes, me, the person whose motto is “Don’t make it a bad time” and the coach who somehow leads people to the end they were looking for (or didn’t realize they were looking for) without having to do the thing they didn’t want to do – yes, I too, push myself into places of discomfort.

Because GROWTH.

I recently had my first online troll experience. That could be a whole other story for another time..! But when he asked me haughtily if I was “even interested in growth?!” I almost had to laugh – which I DID after I cried about the whole encounter  – because COME ON! It’s only like, my favorite thing.

I love yin yoga for it’s ability to push us into a purposeful place of discomfort while holding us in a safe and nourishing space.

I love personality types for their ability to clearly map out for us our greatest leverage points for growth (as well as how to better manage our blind spots).

I love to hold a huge amount of space to see people as they currently are, but also as who they are meant to be (and hold this for myself, too).

And I love love love working with clients helping them to find their way through a challenge, a confusion, a tangle – and see them come out the other side stronger, more peaceful, more WHOLE.

I do this work myself, too. For example, as an introvert, I push myself to – “extravert.” To put myself out there. As an I-J type, I especially have to push myself to put myself out there in a vulnerable way. My work, my thoughts, myself. Like this newsletter.

And let’s just remember that extraversion is not some perfect “ideal” to strive for in society and is about so much more than being chatty or social. But this concept can become a part of the work that will push an introvert to grow. It puts YOU out there, so the world can benefit from your light.

But extraverts, you’ve got your work, too. You’ve gotta push yourself to “introvert!” Slow down, go inside, stay awhile and look around. There’s a whole nifty world to explore on the inside, too.

And this is just the tiniest little tip of the iceberg when it comes to growth.

But you know what? After I procrastinate, and stomp my feet about how I don’t wanna, and sit down for five hours (give or take, but seriously) – I emerge with this piece of work that I’m always proud of myself for banging out.

Sometimes I have no idea where it all came from, and sometimes (always) it goes in a completely different direction than what I intended. That process always amazes me – the way things in general unfold always amazes me.

And I’m still always a little scared when I hit that button that sends it out into the world. Sometimes I say a little prayer to my spirit guides to please help this find its way to those whose hearts and minds most need to see it. And then I trust and then I let it go.

So keep on keepin’ on in your own journey of growth – because you’re awesome, and we’re all on this journey together.

Which brings us to something else you’re going to need…

Tool #2: Self-Care

Shoma Hokanson of Solera Self Care says that:

“Self-care is essential to living a purposeful and whole life. It allows you to reconnect with who you are, enhance your emotional well-being, gain better life balance, and be more present.” 

I’d say that THIS is the perfect sort of POWER-TOOL to have on your journey of growth this year!

Self-care allows us to know ourselves better, to integrate authentic habits of supporting and caring for ourselves, to set boundaries that help us sustain our energy levels, and to fully and deeply love ourselves.

Growing in big ways can be uncomfortable and even exhausting. It’s all part of the process! But self-care teaches and encourages us to remember that motto I love: “Don’t make it a bad time.” 

Don’t embark on your journey of growth without a deep understanding of self-care!

Shoma and I are teaming up for a workshop on March 2nd entitled Soul Talk & Tea: A Self-Care Workshop + Tea Ceremony.

This is going to be an awesome afternoon of tuning in to your innermost self and learning how to prioritize your physical/mental/emotional/spiritual well-being.

Shoma will lead us through a variety of exercises to get us re-thinking our self-care PLUS we’ll get to experience some self-care firsthand as I guide us through a meditative Chinese Gongfu Tea Ceremony.

You won’t want to miss this event! Full details and registration below! I hope to see you there!

Here’s to tuning in, stepping-out, being brave, and finding that supportive container of self-care to hold us up as we navigate the growing pains of personal growth. 


Soul Talk & Tea: A Self-Care Workshop +Tea Ceremony 

Saturday, March 2nd
2-4pm  $40

@ Yoga Sol – NE Minneapolis

Join Angela Kittock of Moondance Wellness Coaching & Shoma Hokanson of Solera Self-Care for this two-hour workshop that will get you re-thinking your understanding & management of self-care and allow you to fully immerse yourself in a unique self-care experience!

Self-care is essential to living a purposeful and whole life. It allows you to reconnect with who you are, enhance your emotional well-being, gain better life balance, and be more present. However, it’s easier said than done, and that’s why this workshop is designed to help you kickstart your own self-care practice.

We’ll discuss the benefits of self-care, share personal stories, and spend time reflecting on how we can best manage our precious but limited energy. Afterwards, we’ll put our principles into practice by slowing down, breathing deeply and relaxing with a Chinese Gongfu Tea Ceremony.

Registration is limited to 10 ppl – email me here with any questions!
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